|
Valentines on the CheapThe only reason I had to think about this is that I now have a main squeeze and Valentine's Day came up. Normally I would create some huge fight on or about 2/10. See if you can get broken up or least totally not talking. Then when you get back together you can say, "I was so upset over losing you, I didn't have time to get something." Besides if you were broken up then technically you weren't supposed to get her anything anyways. This tends to lead to the second fight of February but shit happens. Ok, so you fucked up and you are in a "relationship" going into the big day. Count the number of days you have been going out since the first of the year and divide by 3. That is how much you should spend on her Valentine's gift. $15 is the max if you going out the whole time. I know it sounds cheap but WTF you did not make this rule. You don't agree with it either but its the rule! You have to follow rules or society will collapse. This last part is good as lots of chicks just give up over being the cause of societal collapse. IF you have already tried the divide by 3 method and burned in "no nookie for you" hell for the rest of Feb, this year you need a new plan. Lucky for you I have it. Cubic zirconium, your new best friend. Babes have diamonds we have CZ. I think this is fair. A few rules here. DO NOT buy a ring. I do not fucking care if you can explain why it is not a engagement ring. I don't care if the 247 people you ran it by all thought it was a good idea. She will twist it and no matter how nice it is you are going to the "Bastard" for giving a ring with the wrong meaning. Or you will be getting married soon and saying goodbye to all that is good in this world. So what do you buy? Buy earrings. Yep, the diamond post things. Why? Because a nice small set of CZ earrings are like $29.95 and that leaves tons of room in your budget for beer and strippers. Why not go big if you are getting it on the sly? Because she will know. They are fucking smart. You make a big show of the 1 carat thing and she will have your balls in a vice and you will being calling her mommy. She knows you aren't shelling out $2k to make her cry tears of joy. She fucking cries for free all the time so save $1970.05. You tell her how cut and clarity are so important and this was the best you could do. "Someday you will make them bigger" ahhh..yeah.. you following now. Future hinting. If you ever fuck it up with a ring you can save a ton at the 5 year with some nice CZ 1 carats. Got me? Stripper money for a decade right there. Better yet you saved bread, she is happy with you and with in 30 minutes of forking them over you will be doing theSlapass! Milf Hunter / Reality Porn / Big Naturals / Mike's Apartment / College Fuck Fest / BlacksOnBlondes / ifriends / Blind date bangers / TrustFundGirls / Adult Freind Finder Valentines Cheap / Could you be a pornstar? / Babes with Babes / Ass Rodeo / Swapping Ass / Saving up your cum / US = Fat? / Got Game? / Blame Rio / Celeb Nudity / Why do we date? / Florida Trip / |
